Some people have known exactly who will be in their wedding for years.  For the rest of us, choosing a wedding party is a happy, daunting, and somewhat stressful task.  It is hard to choose between the people you are closest to without hurting anyone’s feelings. I have prepared a guide to help you make this difficult decision a little more easily.

• Start with your siblings and besties.

Instead of making a huge list including everyone you could possibly think of, start with the core ladies and gents you cannot walk down the aisle without.  Include siblings who will definitely be in your wedding party and best friends you have a “wedding-party pact” with.

• Do not let anyone else make your decision!

Even though your maid of honor and best man would probably happily help you choose the rest of your wedding party, this is a big decision. It is ultimately up to you and your fiance.  Even if there is drama between your friends, make sure you are not excluding someone simply because one of your bridesmaids is not as close to her. Choose the people you feel closest to even if they aren’t close to each other.

• Talk it over with your fiance.

You will likely come up with different people who you want to have in your wedding party.  That is okay, as long as you talk it through and compromise somewhere in the middle. You might decide to have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and that is okay, too!  You and your fiance are the ones getting married, and you get to make – or break – all the rules.

• Don’t leave out someone who you will later regret not including.

If you have a strong feeling that you should include someone, include them.  You do not want to regret not having them be a part of your wedding. These decisions have the power to hurt people and relationships, so you have to make them carefully.  Ensure that you include the people you truly want even if it is not conventional!

• Don’t include someone that you will later regret including.

In the same vein, don’t include someone you feel pressured to include. Perhaps, you do not feel as close to that person as you used to.  If you include this person, you will likely regret that decision.

• Include friends in the wedding even if they are not in the wedding party.

Just because you do not choose someone to be in the wedding party, it does not mean they cannot have a part in helping your wedding day be a beautiful success.  Good friends will understand that making these big wedding decisions is difficult and won’t hold it against you if they cannot be in your wedding party. It is important to make sure they still feel loved and appreciated!  Invite them to your Bachelorette party, and put them in charge of an important wedding task. Tell them you appreciate their friendship and are sorry you couldn’t have everyone you wanted in the wedding party. Let them know you still want their help throughout wedding planning and during the wedding day itself!

Hopefully, these pointers will help you choose your wedding party wisely and without hurting people’s feelings.  Your wedding day should be a happy highlight of your whole life, and you will want to spend the day with your closest friends celebrating alongside.

Congratulations on your wedding! I hope I can capture your big day with your awesome wedding party! Book us here.